a dozen times distraught
by Gray Melody
Summary: distraught (adj): "agitated with doubt or mental conflict or pain" A study on the somewhat unexplored relationship between Raine Sage and Regal Bryant through the visiting of twelve particular unseen moments of the plot in which Raine Sage was distraught.
1. exhibit a, the premiering instance

I hate to do this, but I believe that this story requires a bit of explanation before divulging right into the first chapter. First of all, the purpose of "a dozen times distraught" is more or less a study on the relationship between Regal and Raine throughout the course of Tales of Symphonia, told from Raine's perspective through the third person point-of-view. There were two specific instances between both of the Symphonia plots that caused me to write this story. First of all was a skit between the two in Welgaia titled "Priorities," and the second was the love letter scene in Dawn of the New World.

"Priorities" caused me to wonder why an amicable relationship was not previously established and built upon through the course of the first plot. The love letter scene was completely out of character for Raine and Regal as they are in the first game, causing me to think that _some_ relationship had to have existed between the two, for Raine especially to act like that. And thus, a dozen times distraught was born.

This story, as the title implies, consists of twelve chapters, and I plan to include an epilogue as well. The twelve chapters, or exhibits, as I will be referring to them as from here on are _already written_. I have spent about a month more or less constructing these interactions between Raine and Regal to the best of my ability, keeping them in character as well as I possibly could have. I will update this story according to the response that it gets. Most likely at a weekly pace. I have to proofread each exhibit a number of more times in order to ensure that it is quality work for you, the reader, to enjoy.

Each exhibit begins with a brief summary, or introduction, to the chapter. These twelve moments have been carefully selected to convey to you just how I believe a friendly and potentially intimate relationship between the two characters would grow. I selected the moments by consulting the game script, and picking out all potential moments that would allow for extra interaction between them, and then I decided on the twelve that I could work with the most.

I apologize for rambling so much in this introductory author's note, but I think that I've said everything that I had to say to allow you to understand this story, or rather study, the best. I am always open to criticism, and I hope that you will enjoy this extremely interesting and different relationship as much as I have.

* * *

**a dozen times distraught**  
**exhibit a; the premiering instance**

_Before heading to Mizuho to consult the Vice-Chief Tiga after Colette is kidnapped by Rodyle, the group rests for the night in Ozette's inn. Just before dozing off, Raine is surprised to find their convict companion knocking at her door instead of Genis. The conversation that follows has Raine realize that perhaps keeping everything in is rather poor for her health._

* * *

He was the last person she expected to see in the doorframe of her room in the Ozette inn.

It had been a long series of days, between traveling the sea on that dreaded Elemental Cargo from the Toize Valley Mines to losing Colette nearly the instant they returned to the Quiescent Village outside of the Gaoracchia Forest. Raine Sage was ready to lie down in her bed and drift off into sleep until the morning. At the moment, she didn't want to think about the loss of Sylvarant's Chosen. She didn't want to think about the fact that her precious student Colette had just been handed over to the enemy. A long sigh passed through her lips as Raine leaned back onto the pillow. She allowed her eyes to shut.

And that was when there was a knock. She let out another sigh, this one perhaps a bit more frustrated. She expected it to be Genis, grinning sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck because he lost his key to their room in the inn for the umpteenth time. It was a common occurrence on their adventure thus far.

Raine; however, did not expect to see the stoic face of Regal staring down at her. She raised an eyebrow with curiosity. "Regal."

"Hello, Raine."

Regal was the last person that Raine expected to see before her. All of her other companions would have made more sense to visit her at such an hour. Whether it be Lloyd seeking solace at the loss of a person so close to him, Sheena searching her presence for a similar reason, or Zelos' usual easygoing banter. Hell, it would have made more sense for Presea to be the one knocking on the door. But Regal?

She didn't notice that she had been lost in her thoughts until she caught Regal's now inquisitive stare once more. She shook her head slightly and padded back over to her bed before sitting cross-legged in the center. "Please, come in."

Regal, with a nod, did as she requested, and took a few steps into the room, closing the door gently behind him with his bound wrists. The somewhat clunky motion caused Raine to raise both of her eyebrows, and for a fleeting moment, she wondered how long he had been wearing those shackles, and the details behind the murder he revealed to their group that he committed.

A shifting of the weight of the far corner of her bed drew Raine from her thoughts, and she raised her gaze to see that Regal was gingerly seating himself at the edge of her bed. "Is something the matter?"

He chuckled, and Raine believed that that was the first time that she ever heard him do such a thing. "I believe that that was the reason I came to see you."

"Pardon?"

It was a bizarre and sudden statement that certainly caught Raine off guard. The convict craned his neck to face her, the rest of his body remaining in the same position. "Are you all right, Raine?"

She let out a laugh; however, it was a humorless one. "Why do you ask?"

"You appeared to be distraught earlier, as soon as Colette was abducted by Rodyle and his dragons."

If Raine were any more tired and weary, she might have gasped. And while she was able to stifle her shock at his statement, Raine realized one particular thing:

Regal was much more perceptive than she thought that he was.

The half-elf liked to believe that she was very good at keeping her emotions in tact. That she was able to mask her feelings whenever she was feeling "distraught" as Regal put it. And while it scared her slightly to admit, Regal hit the nail right on the head.

She was certainly distraught. And that revelation was unnerving.

Raine raised her eyes to Regal once again, who was still staring at her evenly. She considered telling him that she was fine and that he had nothing to worry about. She considered sending him on his way, while proceeding to remain awake all night to sort through her distraught emotions. But from the look on Regal's face, she could tell that her efforts to have him leave would be futile.

Perhaps it would be helpful to talk about things to an outside source for once. Perhaps talking about her feelings and conflicts to someone other than Genis would be good for her. And as strange as it seemed, Regal did seem to be the most mature and levelheaded individual of their group, despite his status as a convict.

And with that, Raine decided to take a risk. She sighed for the third time that evening before speaking. "Well, you're much more observant than I thought you were."

"I find that when you take in your surroundings you become much more enlightened. The knowledge one gains is greater and more valuable that way," He said calmly. "If you do not want to talk about whatever it is that is making you distraught, then I will respect your wishes."

"No!" Raine said, and bit her lip instantly at how quickly she objected. "No, I want to discuss it. You're right. I'm distraught. I set out on this journey to protect Colette, but I allowed her to be taken from us."

"That's hardly your fault," Regal stated, but Raine shook her head.

"I'm the medic. I don't know why I suddenly decided to let Presea take a look at her. Had I stayed by Colette's side, Rodyle might not have taken her."

A silence fell over the two for a few moments. Raine had surprised even herself with that statement. "If you had stayed beside her, Rodyle, or even Presea, might have hurt you to get to Colette. We can't have our medic getting injured."

Raine's eyes closed once again. He was right, and she hated to admit that. "That's true," she started a bit uneasily, "Colette is precious to me, to Lloyd, and to all of us. We have so many steps ahead of us before we can rescue her and—"

"You worry that he will hurt her before we can reach her? That it will be too late?"

His words caused Raine's eyes to widen, but she willed herself to regain her composure as quickly as possible. "Yes, that is what I fear."

"Rodyle will not hurt her." Regal pressed, and upon Raine throwing him somewhat of a suspicious expression, he continued. "From what I understand from his plans, he needs her to be alive for quite a while yet. I gather that we have plenty of time to rescue her."

Raine pursed her lips, before one corner curved upwards into a smile of sorts. "It's quite refreshing to talk to someone so comprehensive and mature about our situation for once."

He chuckled again. "I'm glad to offer you some form of relief."

She opened her mouth to respond before closing it just as fast. Speaking rashly without thinking first was what Lloyd did, not her. But even so, she decided to invest further in their conversation. "When Colette's journey began, her grandmother approached me to request that I accompany her on her quest to release the seals of Sylvarant. I knew what the journey entailed, and that it would end with Colette sacrificing her life. And while I was hesitant at first, I knew that Colette wanted to fulfill her destiny. And by accompanying her on her journey, I would be able to research ruins as well, which was a selfish reason on my part, but as a scholar I agreed.

"I have always been fond of Colette since I met her. Her enthusiasm is limitless, and her courage is strong. She, in a way, reversed her destiny, and dying here would be meaningless." Raine concluded, and knitted her eyebrows together briefly. "I think that Lloyd has been rubbing off on me."

Regal did not speak once as she spoke, which was something that she respected and appreciated greatly. Instead, he listened and waited patiently until Raine was ready for him to speak. "Passion is an important quality in a person, and perhaps Lloyd has enough to lend to us all."

"I suppose that it's accurate to put it that way," Raine said, a small smile playing on her lips. "Thank you, Regal, for coming here tonight, for perceiving the fact that I was distraught. As cliché as it sounds, it almost feels as if a weight was lifted off of my chest."

For the first time, Raine saw Regal smile, and for a split second she thought to herself that it made him look that much more handsome, although she shook those thoughts from her head just as fast. "It was my pleasure. Any time you need to talk, I shall be available."

Raine murmured a quiet "thank you" before she heard the doorknob turn. Genis let himself into the room and raised both of his eyebrows at the sight before him.

"Regal? What the heck are you doing here?"

Regal chuckled. "Your sister and I were just talking. As it is quite late, I should head to my own room." With that, he stood up and headed towards the door, where Genis sidestepped to allow Regal to head through. "Good night, Raine."

Raine smiled slightly once more. "Good night, Regal." And with that, he disappeared down the hallway and Genis closed the door behind him.

He turned his gaze to his sister incredulously. "What was that about? I don't think you've ever said more than two words to Regal!"

The half-elven woman let out an amused breath before leaning down in her bed once again. "We were just talking, Genis." She said simply, leaving Genis to furrow his brow in confusion.


	2. exhibit b, finding comfort in logic

hello everyone! I'm back and I want to thank everyone for reading! Thank you to my two reviews, and for everyone who took the time out of their day to read the story. I've a few things to say before we divulge into the chapter. This chapter holds hints as to a small head cannon I host about Raine and how she feels about her past. So you're not confused as you're reading the chapter, I'll tell you what I think, of course, it's just my opinion and you are free to continue thinking whatever you think.

I have always thought that the Otherworldly Gate was traumatizing for Raine, so she lost a fair share of her memory. Thus, she has a faint attraction to studying ruins because of this abandonment. She knows that she and Genis had a mother and father, but she was so traumatized and hurt from the abandonment, that she refused to think highly of her mother especially, thus, housing hatred and resentment, which in times blinds her from the truth of her own past.

So I think that's all. I'm hoping for Wednesday/Thursday and Saturday/Sunday updates, but that might change depending on when I have time to sit and edit a chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**a dozen times distraught**  
**exhibit b; finding comfort in logic**

_Raine catches sight of the Otherworldly Gate as the party heads from the Temple of Earth to Flanoir and the Temple of Ice. Instead of accompanying her companions to collect Penguinist Quills, she spends her time in the library researching the ruins, which leads to not only a revelation about her past, but also the realization that she is no longer the lone logical individual in the group with her second encounter with Regal._

* * *

She had seen it earlier that day when they were flying from the Temple of Earth to Flanoir. Raine had seen something that piqued her interest in the distance. Slightly northeast of the tower that Zelos had once pointed out as the Altamira Hotel was a small island with rock pillars arranged in a sort of circle.

Looking at those ruins had initially made her feel uneasy. Seemingly every hair on her body stood up and it felt as if her entire body was tingling. Raine had never felt this apprehensive and on edge before in her entire life. While the others had continued flying directly east towards the snowy continent, Raine had found herself veering south.

She had to know why those ruins were making her feel so terribly anxious. There was no way that she would ever allow a mystery such as the one presented before her to remain unsolved.

"Raine!" Genis had called. "C'mon, you're going the wrong way, Sis!"

She had sighed at the time. The ruins would have to wait.

;;;

"Hmm? You want to know about the Penguinist Gloves?"

The group had found themselves in the Accessory Shop of Flanoir; upon previously entering the city, they were stopped by a man on the east end of town who informed them abut the Celsius' Tear, which Raine had read about before. Had that man not suggested they craft a pair of Penguinist gloves, she would have said so herself.

"Yes, please!" Colette said eagerly.

The man chuckled. "Penguinist Gloves are nice, warm mittens made from quills of Penguinists, which dwell in the ice caves. If you had three Penguinist Quills, I could make a pair for you."

And with that, their party of eight left the small (cramped, Raine mentally added begrudgingly) building. "Let's go get us some Penguinist Quills!" Lloyd exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Colette and Genis cheered.

Raine bit her lip. The ruins that she had spotted earlier had never left her mind once, and she was sure that a village such as Flanoir would have a library of sorts that she could spend her time in. She cleared her throat. "By the time we collect the items that we need it will be too late for us to go to the Temple of Ice. I believe that it would be wise of us to spend the night here." She suggested. "All of you can go ahead, I'll make reservations at the inn."

Her suggestion, as she suspected, caused a lot of surprise amongst her companions. "Are you sure you'll be all right, Raine?" Genis said, a concerned expression etched across his features.

She offered her younger brother a smile. "I'll be fine."

Eventually, after stifling some of the protests within her group, they exited the city, leaving the half-elf all by herself. She exhaled with content before heading in the direction of the inn at the front of Flanoir.

It was an easy task to reserve a handful of rooms for her traveling group; the lobby receptionist informed her that each room had three beds, so in order to minimize their expenses, Raine booked a total of three rooms, figuring that Presea, Colette, and Sheena could take one room, herself and Genis could take the second, and the remaining males (Lloyd, Zelos, and Regal) would take the third room.

Before leaving the inn, Raine turned around and returned to the receptionist's counter. "By any chance, would there happen to be a library in this city?"

"There certainly is!" The woman responded cheerfully. "If you leave here and go straight, it'll be the second building on your right. It's a little small, but there's supposed to be a lot of interesting material in there."

"Thank you," Raine said appreciatively before exiting the building. A cold wind bit the exposed skin on her face, and she drew her garments closer to her to gather warmth as she walked to the library. It felt as if it managed to drop 10 degrees during the short period of time where she was inside of the inn.

Despite the cold, time passed rather quickly and before she knew it Raine was standing in front of the library of Flanoir. The receptionist was correct in that it was a small building, but a smile graced Raine's face as she entered. All of the walls were lined with books. And with that, she settled for an old atlas and seated herself at a wooden table.

Raine opened the large book to a map of Tethe'alla and traced a pale finger to her current location of Flanoir. "That island was somewhat south of here," she muttered as she dragged her finger along the rough paper. "East of Altamira…" eventually, her finger settled at a small island, and Raine was certain it was the one that she spotted earlier. She tapped the island absentmindedly and squinted, leaning closer to the map to read the fine print that labeled the location. "The Otherworldly Gate."

Her eyes widened. That sounded familiar, and made a feeling of nostalgia run through her body; however, this feeling was not comforting. Instead, it was the same uneasy feeling that she had felt earlier upon spotting the ruins. She quickly rose to her feet and returned to the wall of books, grabbing anything that could happen to refer to the Otherworldly Gate."

And thus, Raine settled at her table once again, flipping through all of the books that she had collected and memorizing any information about the Otherworldly Gate. "The fable land of Sylvarant…connects the two worlds…mysterious formation of rocks…"

It was then that a forgotten part of her past returned to her. Raine gasped upon remembering trekking through the fields of Tethe'alla when she was twelve years old, holding her father, Kloitz's, hand as her mother, Virginia, holding an infant Genis, led them somewhere. She remembered falling into the ocean and nearly dying of a terrible case of hypothermia that ensued. And most of all, Raine remembered the ruins. She remembered sitting there as her mother placed Genis in her arms, staring at her parents as they left their children to be engulfed by the light. The memories caused her entire body to shudder.

"There you are."

The sound of the door opening and a new voice caused Raine to yelp with surprise and slam the book shut that she was previously reading. She wildly looked to the entrance of the building to see Regal staring at her curiously. "I'm sorry if I startled you."

"No, no…" Raine started slowly, still recollecting herself from his sudden entrance. "I just…I wasn't expecting anyone to come here so soon." She rose to her feet and paced towards him, hoping that that would keep him from looking at the books she collected. "Where are the others?"

Regal raised an eyebrow at her actions but answered her nonetheless. "It didn't take us too long to find the Penguinist Quills. The others headed towards the Accessory Shop to deliver our findings to that man." He explained. "I returned to the inn, and when you weren't there, I asked the receptionist if she knew of your location."

"And here you are," Raine murmured.

"Indeed," Regal started, and paced towards the table that she had been sitting at. She felt the instant urge to stop him, but such actions would have been incredibly suspicious of her. She turned rapidly to see that she had left one of the books open, and mentally swore for allowing such a thing to happen. He looked down at the text with interest. "The Otherworldly Gate. Legend has it that if you stand in the middle of the formation under the night of the full moon you will be taken to the mystical land of Sylvarant."

Raine resisted the urge to snort—that certainly wouldn't be appropriate in this particular situation. Sylvarant was a lot of things, but "mystical" was not the adjective that she would use to describe the planet. "I caught sight of the island today. The ruins seem…lovely." She said in somewhat of a strained tone.

"Raine." Regal said firmly. She had no idea how he was able to see right through her when Regal hardly knew her. The opposite applied as well, of course, Raine wasn't able to see through him like he was apparently able to do with her.

"I appreciate your concern, Regal, but I'm fine." She said almost harshly, and she could have sworn that Regal recoiled slightly.

"Whatever you say; I understand if you do not wish to talk about this yet," he said gently, and Raine instantly felt bad for snapping at him.

"Thank you," Raine said shortly, and closed the book, stacking them all into a pile before gathering them in her arms. "I would also appreciate if you did not tell the others about this research of mine."

"Of course," Regal agreed.

After putting away all of the books, Raine was somewhat surprised to see that Regal was still standing at the table. She bit her lip lightly before clearing her throat. "Regal?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think that what we're doing is worth it? Or rather I should ask if our actions are just?" She asked suddenly, which appeared to catch Regal off guard. If she had not been in such an odd mood, this would have caused her to feel an overwhelming sense of pride.

But now was not the time for petty competition. Besides the Otherworldly Gate, she was curious as to what the cost of severing all of the mana links would be. The worlds would apparently split apart, but something about that logic didn't seem to be right in her mind. Would it be instant? Would there be a period of transition? Raine could hardly lay out all of the possibilities in her own head.

"The only way for us to find out is to continue what we're doing, yes?" Regal said. "It appears to be our only option as of now, so I would say that our actions are indeed sound."

"Your logic never ceases to impress me, Regal."

"I can say the same about you."

Raine let out a light laugh at that and spotted the small smile on Regal's face, which made her smile as well. "I'm sure that the others are back at the inn now. I wouldn't want anyone to worry." She said eventually and Regal nodded, walking in front of her to the door to open it for her, which Raine responded to with a quiet "thank you."

Raine Sage was unsure of a lot of things. Her past was still foggy despite the revelations that she experienced in that library. She was unsure of what would happen after Sheena formed the final pact, and she was unsure of Cruixs' goals as well.

However there was one thing that she was at least somewhat sure of, and strangely enough it was that Regal was ambiguous, which was interesting to the scholar. There was no doubting that he was a gentleman, and a logical one at that. There was more to him that met the eye, and Raine found herself almost eager to find out more.


End file.
